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How Patriarchy Affects Men And Boys Too – Shocking Facts About Patriarchy

Source-The Quint

India is ranked #1 most dangerous country in the world for women in a survey conducted by the Thomson Reuters Foundation. We all start looking at the men of our country for making that happen, which is the most obvious thing to do. But the most important thing to ask is why are men so insensitive towards women when respecting a fellow human being is the most humane thing in this world? The answer is patriarchy.

Patriarchy affects women the most but men are also a victim of this system, the difference is women feel the effects more than men. There are certain things that Indian boys have to do: –

1. Boys don’t cry

how patriarchy affects men and boys too
Source-Campaign US

The first thing that a boy is told by his parents is “Don’t Cry”. And if he does cry after suppose falling while running, he is insulted (or complemented, however you see it) by calling him a “girl” or you “cry like a girl”, which is a very unfair thing to say because when a baby is born HE/SHE has to cry to tell the world that they are alive. To expect a growing baby or a living human being to not have any emotions is the most idiotic thing. I don’t know how they hold their tears in Indian emotional movies. This repressed anger will come out in some way, mostly violence. Think of all domestic violence cases in this and the main cause is repressed anger through the lifetime.

2. Indian men are unidimensional

how patriarchy affects men and boys too
Source-Monica Yates

The main aim of Indian style upbring is to convert a male child into a money-making machine. We don’t teach basic living skills to our boys like cooking, washing clothes etc.

In India, men are taught not to cook, no matter how hungry you are proper food should be cooked only by the females of the house. The only thing men take pride in cooking is Maggi. Just plain Maggi. You can recall your hostel memories when you survive only on Maggi and learn cooking from YouTube.

Men are the breadwinner but can’t really cook any bread.  It became a bigger problem when they get married and don’t know how to do basic household work. And if some husbands really do want to help their wife in the kitchen, well just don’t let your mother see you or wife will have to take them for this one.

3. Can’t wear bright colors

how patriarchy affects men and boys too

Indian society really doesn’t treat anyone fairly. Everyone has been told to follow the script since birth without changing even the dialogue. Have you seen an Indian man wearing pink pant? Obviously, NO. because our poor males have limited colors in their life. If women are told to dress “properly”, men are allowed to wear only certain colors. Black, brown, white, and some variants of blue are some “selective” colors that an Indian man can wear. They only have boring colors in their life. They don’t have the freedom to wear “Pink Pant” because “what will people say”.

4. Have to earn money fast

how patriarchy affects men and boys too

 Women are told to get married as quickly as possible whereas men are told to earn money as early as possible and as much as possible. Family & society build pressure on boys that you have to earn money as you complete your education. Because they too are getting sold in the same wedding market. Higher education or higher pay package means a higher dowry.

Read Recent Blog On –How Indian girls are manufactured

 This cycle of abuse continues through generation as children watch their parents and learn what we call social norms. If the father is abusive the son might think that it’s normal to hit another person. That son might grow up and become the same abuser and without questioning it all. Or start abusing someone early on in life like a friend or little brother or little sister. This conditioning of boys in our society, our patriarchal society desensitizes men and they fail to recognize the danger of the opposite sex. Rape, eve teasing become a pleasure for men. Men are not born like this, they are manufactured like this by our society and family. Because you don’t have to be a woman to understand that rape or sexual assault is bad, you just have to be human.

If you hear anybody say something like this “ Mard ko dard nahi hota” (men don’t feel pain), you just have to say this one thing “ Par insaan ko dard hota hai”(but a human feel pain).

About Neha Lal

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